March 17, 2014 FB Stupid Green Shirt

It's a stupid green shirt that caused my tears today. I couldn't find anything green for Gracie to wear last year to preschool and finally settled on this salmon colored shirt with green on the bows. "Good enough! I'll do better next year." But next to all the other kids she looks like the one whose mom forgot to send their child in green. I DIDN'T!! Gracie knew she had green on, that's all that matters right? I've been telling myself that for days. That's the problem...I can't ask her, which doesn't seem like a big deal unless your child is no longer here and "mom guilt" surfaces. It becomes the biggest deal!! I can't ask her to see if it mattered, I can't hug her to be sure, I didn't get "next year". I can only look at pictures...which bring about more "mom guilt" over a stupid green shirt!

I don't know what I expected people to comment or do to make me feel better but I just wanted affirmation that I was a good mom.  I was horrified that one person's comment consisted of belittling others in the picture.  She stated that one little girl was wearing a red shirt...she wasn't.  She was holding her birthday bag in front of her.  I don't know why people just can't listen and say they are sorry.  I don't care about what other mom's did that day.  They still have their children.  It doesn't matter if they were wearing green or not.  Their children are still alive to do it right the next time if they messed up.  I don't get a next time and it was just starting to set in.