Jan. 16, 2014 Journal Entry-Opportunists Make Me Angry

"People move on". That is life and 9 months ago I couldn't believe it based on the devastation I felt and those around me showed.  6 months ago I feared it because I could sense others returning to "Normal" life.  It didn't bother me except those who I felt should still be just as devastated.  Those who pushed their way in (intruders) to the hospital.  Now 9 months, I'm angry at them.  I'm every bit as devastated today and they are almost silent.  Of course they can't be preoccupied with me and my grief all day long-the rational me knows this.  The emotional, grieving me is angry at those people.  You have a piece of me that I didn't allow you to have, a piece of Gracie, and you shouldn't.  You aren't a true friend/support.  You are an opportunist, a one-upper because you think your little problems are bigger than my grief.  Bigger or more devastating than watching my Gracie pass away in our arms.  More devastating than watching her dad carry her lifeless body through the corridor of the hospital and into the arms of the O.R. nurse to donate what organs were still viable to donate to someone, people, I pray everyday were worthy of her/our sacrifice.  More devastating than the re-occurring nightmares and endless tears, panic attacks and knowing I have to live the rest of this life without my Gracie. I am angry.  But, I will be gracious or at least try to be in dealing with these people in the future and be "OK" as they slowly fade out of my life.