Lately it's all the energy I have to walk from my room to the bathroom. I am back to that place where I wake up in the morning and just don't want to do another day. The difference is it's not as hard to convince myself to get up and typically I'm not crying. When I wake up crying, that's a particularly hard day. That's not every day and it's actually not even most days. However, I still cry everyday but sometimes only once.
Izsak went for a sports physical Tuesday. They found protein in his urine and wanted to repeat the next morning before he was active. The rest of the day I was consumed with the thought of potential kidney disease and how we gave away Gracie's kidneys to a potentially undeserving useless adult. Of course the re-screening Wednesday showed no protein. When you're active it results in protein in the urine and Tuesday Izsak had just finished with golf lessons. How ironic that the doctor chastised me about Izsak's weight. He's in the 75th percentile in height and 86th in weight...hardly a fatty but I got the lecture about buying snacks and healthy lifestyle....WE ARE HERE FOR A SPORTS PHYSICAL FOR FOOTBALL ASSHOLE!!! Izsak had protein in his urine because of golf you F***ing genius. Once again I will lose out on the Mother of the Year Award.
I'm just unable to avoid emotional landmines lately. Jeremy sent a picture of Vi sitting in the doggy chair at football. I wasn't ready for that. We hadn't talked about Gracie's chair but I assumed we were on the same page. It's still Gracie's chair. It's her favorite and it was HERS. There are things I can convince myself she would've out grown or wouldn't care about but her doggy chair is not one of them. I was VERY upset and more upset that Jeremy set that landmine. I have issues, I'm crazy, but it is what it is and I just can't control it.
Gracie after finding her doggy chair in the store. Just getting comfy!
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