April 4, 2013 It Had Been the Perfect Day.

It started out as the perfect day.  I had just starting jogging a week before after having Vi 4 weeks prior.  Gracie wanted to ride her bike to school.  She had ridden her bike around the subdivision with the family last week and wanted to show her friends at school she could ride without training wheels.  She had actually learned the October before but it had snowed and was finally warming up.  We started off with Gracie on her bike and me jogging with Vi in the stroller next to her.  After about 10 minutes she was starting to change her mind. I was stern but encouraging to keep going knowing we couldn't turn around and make it home and drive to school in time.  Besides, she really wanted to ride her bike.  With lots of encouragement from me along the way, she did it!!  She was so excited especially when she saw Lincoln had also rode his bike!  I jogged home, got showered, fed Vi, and drove back to pick her up.  I was on maternity leave and only had 2 precious weeks left to spend with her.  Each day I thought of how much I enjoyed being about to spend this time with Gracie and how much I would miss her when I went back to work.  I was glad I would only have another month before summer. 

After picking Gracie up from preschool we headed to Costco.  When we got there she pointed to the Costco sign and said "O, O" because she identified the "O's" in Costco.  She recognized the "O" for Olivia. 

I was trying to hurry and get the things we needed knowing Vi would need to eat soon.  I let Gracie get the things she wanted; strawberries, cut fruit, and muffins.  We got a slice of supreme pizza to share and headed for the car.  Gracie was so helpful, almost like she could sense I was feeling a little frazzled trying to balance pizza, groceries, and Vi.  Gracie took the sausage off my slice of pizza and put them on hers (as always) and took care to carry the drinks.  We put on a movie in the car and I fed Vi as we ate pizza.  Once Vi was taken care of, we headed home. 

I knew Gracie would be tired and it had become our routine to take an afternoon nap together.  Gracie loved to snuggle.  We put on Toy Story (the one with Zurg).  She pulled out her ponies from her hair, shook out her hair,  snuggled up, and feel asleep.

Around 4:00pm friends came over to drop off dinner.  We visited for a while when Gracie woke up and came out.  Her hair was tussled and she was on a mission to water her seeds she brought home in a egg carton made to look like a caterpillar.  Teacher Misty had told them to use a bottle to water the seeds and not the faucet.  Gracie knew the bottle to use.  It was my cleansing bottle they gave me in the hospital!  What a clever and aware girl:)  My friends left and I helped Gracie water her seeds.  I later learned after I continued to water them it was grass. 

At 5:30 it was time to take Liv to soccer.  Gracie asked if she could come but I was helping coach now and wouldn't be able to watch her.  I told her she needed to stay home with Dad. She didn't complain.  Around 7:00pm I was really wanting practice to end but we had another 30 minutes. Travis (head coach of Liv's team) got a call.  There was life flight on our street.  I used his phone to call Jeremy to see if he knew what was going on.  I couldn't believe he answered.  He never answered when he didn't recognize the number.  As soon as he answered I told him it was me and I was calling from Travis's phone.  He said, "Get home."  The sound of his voice was terrifying.  I had never, in our 14 years of marriage, heard this sound from him.  He was crying, in pain, something was terribly wrong and I knew Life Flight was for us.  All I could make out was "Gracie".  I said I was coming.  I yelled for Liv and got my phone from Kenna's backpack where I was storing it for the duration of practice.  I looked to see missed calls and several from neighbors but none from Jeremy who had been busy with 911 and the first responders.  As I got to my car Lyndee was calling.  "I'm coming, I need to know what happened before I get there." 
"Rebecca, you just need to get home."
"I'm coming but you have to tell me what happened.  I need to know before I get there."
"Rebecca, Gracie got a rope around her neck on the slide of the swing-set."
"That doesn't make sense, we don't have ropes on the slide of our swing-set."
Just then Olivia in the passenger seat started to cry.  She said, "Mom, I hung a rope on the swing-set and forgot to take it down."
"Lyndee, I'm coming.  I have to go."
I called Jeremy's parents, "Something has happened at home.  I need you to come take us to the hospital."
Olivia explained she had hung a rope on the crossbar of the slide and they were using it to climb up the slide.  I told Olivia, "No matter what has happened, this is not your fault.  Heavenly Father has a plan and everything is part of his plan. Let's say a prayer."  I felt like everything would be fine and that maybe Jeremy was just over exaggerating until I pulled onto our street.  It was a frightening site.  The street was blocked off about 6 housed from ours and the streets were lined with people.  Life Flight was in front of our house.  I parked the car and ran to the helicopter.  They were loading Gracie in.  The paramedic told me they were able to get a hearbeat after about 30 minutes of CRP but Gracie wasn't breathing on her own. They were going to Primary Childrens and would meet us there.  I thought they just needed to get her there and she would be fine. I just kept thinking she would be fine. I needed to be with Jeremy.

As I entered the house I saw Lyndee with Vi and Jeremy was in the hallway.  I went to hug him and he was drenched in sweat.  There were paramedics in our front room and furniture was pushed all around.  It looked like a crime scene. Police and paramedics were trying to talk with me.  One paramedic was trying to explain   how long it took to get a heartbeat.  She said Jeremy wouldn't let them give up until they did. I don't know if the agreement was due to his words, sweat, or his tears but they said he was inconsolable and wouldn't let anyone take Vi from him except Lyndee. I took Vi from Lyndee and asked her to take Olivia and Izsak to her house.  I grabbled the car seat to wait out front for Jeremy's parents.  We got outside to see LifeFlight ready to take off.  Jeremy dropped to his knees and I dropped down to hug him while trying to block the wind caused by the helicopter from Vi.  I didn't have enough arms.  I looked up and people were staring, crying, I wanted to scream, "Help me!!!" but didn't know what help I needed from them.  I called Jeremy's parents, they were in Roy!  I told them to get the kids and stay with them. I accepted the Sheriff's offer to drive us to Primary Childrens Hospital.