I have accepted that Gracie is gone but it doesn't diminish the pain. I'm learning to incorporate the pain into my life. It makes me angry when people say, "I'm glad you're smiling." They want to believe I'm happy again or "moving on" because they are. I don't begrudge them....it wasn't their child. But they seem to want to believe I am or have too. How can they even think after only 3 months I could feel any different than I did the day of or the week after? Make me angry. I lost my daughter for hell sake....not a beloved pet.
I didn't like that rather than feel supported and like I could feel whatever I needed to feel or behave the way I needed to I had to keep it in check because people were always analyzing my behavior or reactions to situations. I didn't know how I felt from one minute to the next, having someone watching or evaluating was threatening and caused anxiety.
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