I drove to preschool this morning. I decided to go in and pick up a May calendar to finish out the year. Gracie was so looking forward to celebrating her birthday at school it makes me sad that she won't. After someone's birthday she would ask, "tomorrow is it May?" Knowing her birthday is in May. My sweet girl, tomorrow is May.
It was absolutely breaking my heart to think that Gracie was no longer part of her pre-school. Each morning when she would wake up she would ask, "Do I have pre-school today?" She started to figure out that pre-school was only on Tuesdays and Thursdays so then she would ask, "Is today Tuesday?" or "Is today Thursday?" She LOVED pre-preschool and I took such pride in making sure she was prepared for whatever she needed for pre-school. She almost always wore a dress with leggings because it was easier to go potty, plus she looked so cute. She always had pigtails or a bow and we would always review her show and tell if she had it or any homework that was due. Even though I had such guilt in working and not being able to drop her off and pick her up each day, I took such care to make sure she never felt unprepared and a key part of that was checking the pre-school calendar daily. Pre-school was such a major part of her little life and having reached the last day on the pre-school calendar was more than I could bear.
One of the best parts of pre-school was celebrating birthdays. Gracie loved coming home and telling me if it was someone's birthday and she would ask when it would be May. She was one of the youngest in the class but she was so patient in waiting. She was so excited to know Teacher Misty's birthday was also in May. When I got a copy of the calendar it showed Gracie's birthday still in May and it meant the world to me. I still needed her to be part of what she and I had talked about. I felt in my heart that she was meant to leave this earth but she didn't know how much she would be looking forward to her birthday and pre-school graduation. Her 3 year old self wanted to do those things so badly even if her heavenly spirit felt it was time to leave this earth. If she were here to wake in the morning I would finally be able to tell her, after months of asking, yes....it's May.
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