Sunday, August 4, 2019

Dec. 27, 2015 Another Christmas....Holidays are Hard.

We made it through Christmas.  I cried off and on Christmas Eve and Christmas day the same as I still do everyday but it was just a little more painful with the memories.  We did the Gracie ornaments with the Beckers and that was really nice.  George and Mary got us a nice quote about angels with Gracie's picture.  Someone made a comment about us having a "Shrine" for Gracie.  I ignored and moved on. David's family had an ornament made with the picture of Christ holding Gracie.  They said it was because Christmas is about Christ.  Did they think I was making Christmas about Gracie because I wanted to do the ornaments?  They don't have to do it. I can just do it with my family.  I know Christmas is about Christ...I've kind of known that my whole life but I still miss Gracie and quite frankly I'm a little upset He gets to spend His birthday with her and I don't.  Ryan's family named a star after Gracie which was very thoughtful.  Over all it was a good night.  I just decided to approach the night as if I were going to a work party.  I don't have expectations of my co-workers in regards to my comfort from grief and I just need to do the same with the Becker family.  It worked. 

I deactivated my Facebook account.  I realize in posting to "friends" I'm expecting them (someone) to take this pain away or fix it somehow.  They can't and when they can't or don't try I get upset.  It's a no win situation.  If they don't know and don't know to try to fix it I can't get upset.  It doesn't make sense but neither does losing a child. 

I came to understand why holidays are so hard.  It's the specific memories, not just the holidays themselves.  If I think about the fact that I have a child that passed away, I feel a horrible sadness.  But when I think about the fact that Gracie passed away...it's an unbearable pain.  It wasn't just a child...which would be horrible enough...it was Gracie.  I can't stand that it was my Gracie.  Still so sad each day but still getting more used to it as well. 

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