Oct. 14, 2013 FB: I can't express enough how lonely I felt as I attempted to conceal my emotions all morning. Mornings are hard, especially Mondays, but I can usually pull it together by 1st period; not the case today. Finally I left midway through the day and went to visit Gracie's grave. There was a small pumpkin and note left by a friend. I'm not sure what etiquette is in these cases but I figured Gracie would need me to read it to her:) The writer indicated they didn't know what to say or do to help our family yet everything they said in the letter was perfect and exactly what I needed to know at that exact moment of complete sadness. I needed to hear a story about how they knew Gracie, how they know how much we love Gracie and miss her, how much they hurt for us knowing we have to live the rest of our lives without her. These words validated my feelings as I'm every bit as sad now as I was 6 months ago and possibly feeling it more as the veil thickens and life continues. Thank you for being brave and stepping out of your comfort zone to comfort me.
I'm starting to recognize people feeling awkward and uncomfortable around me....starting to avoid having to talk to me. It's hurtful. It's not my job to help them feel better about the situation or feel more comfortable around me. I'm grieving, I'm sad, I lost my daughter, why are people uncomfortable around me as if I did something wrong? My Facebook post was a plea to help friends and family know to keep talking to me about Gracie, to share my grief. It didn't work.
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