December 2013 Preparing For First Christmas

December 6, 2013 FB Post:  I get frustrated when something is broken or not working like it use to and I can't fix it. A friend sent me this image. It reminded me how strong my faith was before my heart was broken. Because of the faith in my heart I would've thought,"The mother is being comforted by her child's spirit." But now that this is my reality I look at it and think,"The mother can't be comforted because she's really not sure it is her child's spirit." I'm frustrated. My faith isn't working like it use to because my heart is broken and I can't fix it.

December 8, 2013 FB Post:  Missing my sweet Gracie as I gear up to set up the tree. I know I can't put it off anymore when I can almost hear her say,"Mom, what the heck?"

December 13, 2013 FB Post:  This is long but I have to share. I'm so overwhelmed by the tender mercies recently. I have felt that Gracie is so close lately but have questioned the feelings in my heart because I can't feel her in my arms. Multiple times in the past few days angels on earth were prompted by angels in Heaven to say things and do things to let me KNOW Gracie is near. This year we decided to put up a tree with just lights and a few ornaments that remind us of Gracie. It started with a beautiful angel ornament from my aunt Jenni. Olivia and Izsak found a Doc Mcstuffins as well as a few other ornaments and strung popcorn (Gracie's favorite treat). With each ornament that goes up, the more comfort I feel. Today, a friend said she was prompted to stop by and gave me a Buzz Lightyear ornament not knowing the "Gracie theme" for our tree or how each ornament made me feel. The extended Becker family will place one ornament per family on a small tree for Gracie on Christmas Eve. The small yet important task of finding the tree was causing me anxiety as these tasks seem to do lately. Tonight, one arrived as part of a Christmas package for our family. What a gift! My visiting teacher stopped by after a night of dreams prompting her. My dad called and said he just couldn't shake the feeling that he needed to call. All these tender mercies were meant to show this stubborn Angel Mom that God loves me, Gracie loves me and she is near. Thank you to all my angels on earth for helping my angel in Heaven:)