Sept. 1, 2013 Donor Memorial Services

Facebook Post:  When I'm overwhelmed with emotions I fixate on it until I can identify it, process it, express it and then move past it. I could not identify how I felt in anticipation for the Donor Celebration Saturday until Jeremy said, "I'm proud." He's right, I should feel nothing but proud and I hope recipients feel nothing but grateful. I'm missing Gracie so much but I know she's happy we made the decision as her life was ending that two others would continue.

What I didn't post on Facebook was the struggle I was having with donating Gracie's organs.  The idea that others have a connection with her that I don't have was hard.  Knowing that we only had 90 seconds after her heart stopped to say good-bye and walk her to the Operating Room.  If I had had more time to say good-bye, would that have helped me now?  I know it wouldn't but still question...would we have waited longer to withdraw life support if the transplant team hadn't been assembled....if organ donation wasn't a factor?  Even two years later, my mind knows the answer but my heart continues to question.